A 2018 Personal Project in Prayer
Psalm 1: Illumined Heart, Silent Mind
Beloved, Center of my Being, Caressing Spirit of Kindness:
I imagine your sweet smile at the laughter of children and my delight in small things.
I imagine your frown when I see only the dings.
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Fragrant Blossom, Fresh Breeze of Eternal Sunlight:
I feel your Joy when my Heart fills with song,
and the rush of living water for which I long!
In tender moments, beyond myself, I sit in peace.
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I am saddened by the noisy cries of nay-sayers who see and seek the darkness;
who fix their gaze on shadows on the wall and call them real!
I imagine their night terrors as all their “why nots,” and “but what-about’s”
congeal!
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I pray these minstrels of night and fight find their way back to Light.
For, if they insist on standing outside, rejecting love and hope,
If they live with bitter words, in anger, fear, only saying “nope,”
In the steel cold lonely places, they will surely lie,
Just biding their time ‘til they shrivel and die.
Psalm 2: The Stone People
Consuming fires engulf us, fires of unthinking hate:
Led and fed by the cowardly small,
petty puppets of the Dark One’s call.
Their words drip with clever deception,
Bottom- feeders thriving on their own reflection.
Ignorant, fact-free, and unaware of their fate.
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Shallow Talkers, false prophets of self-styled religion:
Their withered hearts betray their lie,
And they reek of corruption as children die.
They say, “we serve the people, their needs are in sight,”
But they see the poor and immigrant as blight.
Empty souls, dancing with shadows, mongers of derision.
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Lover beyond all good and evil, I am chastened:
The same anger rises in me in vain,
I lash out at injustice, and disgust fills my brain.
Yet no one can reach the higher places,
Until finding peace in the sacred spaces.
Weeping, I run to you, O Christ, by the angels, I am hastened.
Psalm 3: A Hollow Cacophony
Beloved, nearer to me than my own heart:
Many are the noxious distractors that assault me.
Gathering like clouds of hungry gnats on a hot summer evening,
They unsettle me and make me mad.
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Hollow sounds of small leaders, knotted hearts, undead empty bags of greed.
Pretending to care while children go hungry.
Politicians who say nice words without real intent,
Artful dodgers, in love with the sound of their own voices,
When will you silence them!
Selah
The dictators of noise overwhelm the silence,
I grieve at the power they wield in a Nation easily duped,
A nation of followers ready to give up democracy for hollow promises,
And I have no authority save a single vote in an unthinking crowd.
Selah
I recognize my need to control, my rage at the inability to move opinion,
I acknowledge that I cry out to you as you listen in deep time to grander schemes,
Yet I know you are with me, in my very cells, recreating every moment,
So, I wait, I call out, and I pray for sanity and reason where there is little of it.
Selah
Faith tells me your plan will reveal the truth in your own time,
I wait.
Faith tells me that good will overcome evil and darkness,
I wait.
Faith tells me that love is the force that will win the day and so, truly,
I wait.
I lose patience with all the waiting.
Grant me patience to have ever deeper faith!
Selah
Come to my aid in this time of noisy fear and wide-angled anger:
In this time of solemn mourning at the loss of vision,
In a dark time of expediency and materialism,
In a time of chaos and the loss of even simple dignities.
I pray for steady quiet and true inner peace, Beloved,
Fill me with the strains of infinite melody and draw me to you.
Selah
Psalm 4: Wings of the Almighty
I listen for your Silence, the pure source of my hope.
I draw comfort from your warm Presence.
Yet, I often fail to incline my Heart to you, Beloved,
Fixed as I am on the fetching illusions of the world.
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Why are the empty things so alluring?
Why is your Truth set aside so quickly by the eye, ear & heart candy of ideas and things?
It is good to pause and see that I dance with phantasms.
Selah
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In stillness, I now stand, once again naked in your presence, open and unafraid.
I am here, Beloved.
I am reaching deeper to where my heart becomes yours.
No longer alone, I am who you made me to be, without artifice.
No longer happy nor sad, tense or calm, seeking or sought.
I Am.
Selah
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No longer things to achieve, or things to possess, or people to please,
There is nothing any longer to prove.
I am yours Beloved.
I am home at the Center.
Perfect Joy!
“A sailboat without wind. Movement with repose.”
Psalm 5: I Am Listening
Are you there, Beloved? Do you hear me speaking?
I ask, and your response is silence?
Yet I know that you walk with me. I feel you there, a warm breath on my neck.
At Sunrise, I feel you more intimately as I do sometimes very late at night.
What is the quiet of dawn and the pauses of night where I most feel your touch?
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I need your Light to make known the steps ahead for me, Beloved;
I am otherwise lost in a sea of chaos, a maelstrom of churning purposes.
I work to be bold and to be unafraid, but I eschew conceit,
And I do not consort with those who trade in lies, manipulations, and war.
I must believe that people such as these will know your anger!
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Yet, Beloved, they walk with pride and power, wielding their scepters of vile intent.
They shape the narrative of our times and feed the masses with rage and discontent.
I implore your loving heart to tame the vicious and the indecent.
Warm me, assure me, comfort me and strengthen me in the face of their seeming victories!
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Not wishing ill on anyone, Beloved, still, they must be accountable.
We hear that we “reap what we sow,” may it indeed be so!
I do not look for fair though I know your Heart is gentle care,
If it be your will, chastise and reprove them, so the righteous can thrive,
So that the children of Light and Love can prosper!
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I dance in your Light, Beloved, raise up my Spirit!
Help me to feel the wings of your angels helping me to stand tall.
My shield, my courage, the Source of All Inspiration,
If it be your Will, let those who hug the darkness be set aside, apart, removed,
so they cannot trouble the innocent and those whose touch is Peace!
Psalm 6: A Weary Cry
I’m tired, Father, tired and troubled, weighed down by the wounds of time.
I’m tired, Mother, and my strength runs out as the days grow long.
I can hardly recall the days of hope in my fellow Man, when one could look up to model leaders!
How long, Beloved, how long will this insult to goodness last?
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I know your patience is infinite, and I can’t imagine a love so great as Yours.
You call me to live up to your sacred spark and I lean in every day,
But I falter. I fall short and am weak.
Again, and again, I come to you to Confess,
and the great round of my innate foolishness persists anyway!
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A proliferation of grey hairs marks this time of deep worry over a plenitude of things.
The planet, the Nation, retirement, health concerns and worry for the future of my children and children’s children.
The chief enemy lies within me, in the tell-tale signs of growing anger and cynicism;
Yet, I return to you, Beloved, each day and each night!
I bring to you my doubts and even my unbelief,
and I reaffirm my sense of wonder at your miracles.
Uphold my Heart, raise up my Spirits and clear my vision to see through the fog of discontent.
My love of you is inadequate, but my wish to love is deep; help me find the Christic Love to which you call me.
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I call to you beyond my own sense of worry and anger,
And I pray for those who try my patience and threaten the fabric of decency.
Move their hearts to contrition that they might serve us all as faithful stewards.
Heal them of their narcissism, materialism, prejudice, and vicious pride
So that that our children can once again be hopeful and rejoice in the Light of their innocence!
© The Harried Mystic, 2018 and Br. Anton, TSSF. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.
