Today was a perfectly beautiful day with unseasonably warm temperatures, bright sun, no wind whatsoever, and a chance to just drive and explore.
While visiting one of our usual haunts, I went into the restroom followed by a man and his young son. As I stepped up to the sink, the young man, who was next in line for the stall, headed into it with some urgency. But he first paused and firmly, clearly, and at the top of his lungs (with an audience of four or so other patrons), counseled his father: ” Be patient. I have to poop and this is going to take some time.”
Clearly embarrassed, his father simply said “ok” in a subdued and mortified tone of voice.
Catching the eye of another man who was smiling, the father said with a nervous chuckle, ” Kids – you never know what they’re going to say.” The other man knowingly replied: ” Well, the one thing you can surely count on is that it won’t be anything like what you’re thinking or expecting!”
“Really?” I thought.
Isn’t it more that the child gives voice to things we’ve since learned to hide. Either way, the moment was adorable and a small parable in its own right. The child was 100% there, focused on what he’s about, and his unfiltered comment was something to feel good about and certainly not something about which one needs to be embarrassed.
How swiftly we teach the very young to create a faux self that will meet with the approval of the greatest number of people. I don’t mean to argue for completely unfiltered speech, but we should take care that this doesn’t generalize to the point where young people hold their own experiences and thoughts suspect, and grow reluctant to speak their truth.
I recall as a child in art class being told repeatedly to draw within the lines. I asked why and was told: ” That’s why they put the lines there.” Add to this persistent instruction on how to best hold a pencil, what colors go with what objects, and to speak only when spoken to. It is a tall wonder we have creative souls at all.
Out of the mouth of babes was delivered a gift of reminder to live, to be, and to untangle the knots that make us crazy.
© Brother Anton and The Harried Mystic, 2009. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.
The Harried Mystic 
After a series of bullying incidents that the school failed to deal with effectively, we decided to exercise our right to educate our child at home. In the UK, this is a right that is little known and is often thought of as being strange. IT was the best decision we’d made and wished we’d made it far sooner. For the 4 years she was at home my daughter progressed from depressed and miserable to joyful and enquiring, because she could follow what she wanted to. She didn’t enjoy her return to school aged 14 but at the time, we could see no way she could do her exams from home. But at least she had the four years to be herself and it taught her study skills and mind expansion that she uses now to great effect in her degree.
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We did the same thing. Both of our children were home schooled for several years before resuming a public school education and both benefited tremendously. Both sought out academically rigorous Universities that place a premium on independent research and study.
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I’d also like to add that I don’t like children much…
I think it’s too easy to mythologise them and see their unformed nature as being somehow primevally wonderful. You only have to read Lord of the Flies and watch general playground behaviour to discover this is not the case.
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All true. All things have a “shadow.” I was simply privy to one moment of refreshing directness and lucidity. In the admonition to “Be again as little children,” we are invited to abstract the best of that state of direct experiencing (beginner’s mind) with fewer of the filters that get added later. Having raised two children, now adults, I must say I do miss the many wonderful moments of playfulness, spontaneity, and discovery that they epitomized and engendered in us. Your comment also has me thinking about mythologising. On the plus side, in elevating events to creative mythology we actually come face to face with both a projection of our ego ideal and the archetypes that shape MInd. Thank you for your, as always, stimulating and thoughtful comments.
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Ooh – I’m so glad you found my blog – because now I found yours! What a great story, and a lovely style of writing (not to mention the obvious…your lovely way of looking at things).
What a treat…
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Thank you for stopping by my place and your very kind comment. Looking forward to your future posts. All the best.
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Hi Julianna,
I am trying to find my way back to your blog but having trouble. Your website comes up but can’t seem to work back to the block. Can you send along the url? Thanks so much.
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