Prayerful Sitting;
In these dizzy times of digital living, in clouds of twits and tweets, it is ever more precious to just sit. There is no agenda, no goal, no outcome, no measure of return, no one to answer to for results, no big reward, no fame, nor notoriety;
just sit.
I breath and look around without need to think over this or that, analyze, categorize, synthesize, or harmonize;
just sit.
Of a sudden, I feel a pain in muscles in my upper arm, discomfort around my middle, and stiffness in neck and back, and so I straighten up, stretch a bit and go right back;
just sit.
As I rest, my eyes lightly close, and I first see dancing shades of color on my inner lids. I watch them until I don’t, and then I listen out. My ears reach deep and wide all about, and I hear things I didn’t know were there. I hear a clock on the wall ticking, my heart beating in my ears, a high pitched sound nearby, electrical, other muffled sounds of the house and a T.V. on the second floor. I think about how I am sitting – Is it the zen way, I wonder? Back straight enough, feet squarely planted flat on the floor? Would it be better if I could sit in a half-lotus?
All inevitable, all unsurprising given history, all totally useless. Who cares, comes the answer from the best of me, and so I continue;
just sit.
Thoughts get more still, the air moves in and out of me even now a bit more quietly. I let objects in view separate and merge, and all becomes just wallpaper for the dancing mind. I feel warm in places, cold in others. Wishes rise up – need a drink, a piece of fruit, a good book, maybe I should write, and then thoughts fall back and stop their maddening prattle.
I once again go back to where it all began;
just sit.
And, in all this justness, all this space, I still have a sense that there’s a race to an undisclosed finish line. So thick are the mind-games and the pull of the self sense in me. Slowly and without much thought, a word appears before me – “Listen”.
And, then, from out of the same stillness another word – “Abandon”.
Once more, I breath into the breach between thought and stillness and the words replay – “Listen-Abandon”.
I take in a deep, fresh breath, and two more words leap up – “Let Go”!
A reverie of Three: “Listen-Abandon-Let Go” !
It’s all good. It makes sense. It sounds wise. I think to myself “could this be what happens in the mind of Monty Python’s Flying Circus?”
It makes me laugh aloud.
[Oh, such irreverence. Such a lack of prayerful and contemplative decorum!]
Well, it’s all interesting, it’s all fun, but who cares? It doesn’t really matter you see.
So, now, and at last, back to the real we must go, we must be:
There is no goal, no outcome, no measure of return, no one to answer to for results, no big reward, no fame nor notoriety:
Just Sit!
© Brother Anton and The Harried Mystic, 2009. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.
The Harried Mystic 